Log Book

Life!! The Universe!!! And really everything in it…

Location: The sanity of my own mind

Due to some life events and an odd work schedule I have not been able to work on the pieces I have wanted to. Such is life when you are trying to earn a living and survive. However, thank you so much for the follows and likes. You are all truly amazing! I am in the process of trying to get another job as well as work on a few things. I should have a new piece up on Monday. Thank you for tuning in and have a beautiful weekend! Keep being fucking brilliant!

Off Road Retales: The Fool’s Progress

Location: SF Bay Area

What is it like to kill for sustenance? To kill an animal in the name of survival? Is there fear the first time? Do you give thanks by performing some sort of ritual? What would someone who is used to dining at an upscale restraunt expect? Having their high class food brought to them on the floating ambience of little work for themselves. Do people know what it takes, as they approach my cash register buying their absorbent amounts of prepackaged things, to make and have them brought to stores?

“I can get this cheaper on Amazon. You do price match right?”

“There is a kink in the cover, I should get a discount.”

“I see you don’t have The Book That Everyone is Buying on your shelf. I already spoke with someone one who said you didn’t have it in the back either. Could you check again in your cave of wonders stock room?”

“What do you mean they don’t publish A Book That’s Out of Print!? You have all the control over this! You need to make this happen and get me my book!”

“I see you sell candles in your gift area. What is the difference between soy based and regular? Do you make them in house, because I am looking for something in a sandlewood.” The customer hands over the package where it loudly reads Made in China.

Most of people upon entering their shopping experiences lose all form of thought and social skill. They are focused on themselves, with the tendency to act in the most obnoxious manner. The past hunters and gathers now simply argue over all reason and logic. Like an infant who thinks peek a boo is a game of magic, so does some folks with the shopping experience.

Some people have lost touch with themselves, with nature, with the world around them. They are living living in a constant matrix propetually propelling themselves through their work day, then onto the local markets for food, supplies and the extra amount of things they need to function within their own home. The television, the smart phone, the grill, the fidget cube, the play staytion, the blown out ideals that have been long gone.

People float by in the shopping area, heading to the most expensive shops for their high priced, high demand items with their coach bags donned on their arms. Their eyes capturing a quick glimpse of me as I observe but quickly move back to their routine. Like a herd of gazelle they flee from one of the most possible signs of danger for them: human contact. That is until they are ready to pay with their platinum or mobile devices. Or maybe they forgot I even existed for that one second when their eyes turned briefly, that is until they morphed, ready for their demanding nature to take over.

Their gold chains chink as they walk. The click click click of their heels as they balance against the linoliam floor. Some cellphones attatched to their ears ignoring the reality around them. And yet, I wonder how their big diamonds on their ears don’t get caught. How Talbot’s Petite seems to get their money as they fork over their very retired soul. How would they react to killing their own food for survival?

Off Road Retales: The Cat’s Tale July 2017

Location: In the comfort of my bed, SF Bay Area

6:15 AM: Ryukie woke me with the charms of his purrs. Sweetly he began to nuzzle my arm, beating his head into my body, rubbing against me as the sound of the alarm howled. The somewhat sweet innocence of a fucking cat disappeared along with him as the shrieks from the clock frightened him away. I struggled to put the misery out of the device with just a simple tap of the button. It was time to prepare for the trip to work. The entity that pays me e so help the hapless and fund my future excursions. Retail.

From the foot of my bed, Ryukie and Sumomo waited, their cat eyes glaring at me through the darkness. The hunt of the begging was on. There was only one thing on their mind, Wet food. The glorious concoction of meaty goodness that this human had opened up their tastebuds to. The gateway to all that was perfect and holy in their world. They purred in unison as I extended my legs pushing me from the comforts of springing heaven. My head lifting from my pillows and there I stood in all my glory, these felines basking in front of me.

“Meow!” Sumomo began the same song she does every morning. “Meeeeeoooowwwww!”

Translation: Do not forget to feed us! We need food.

“In a moment.” I groggily reply reaching down to pat her head. Ryukie soon stumbles over, rubbing against my legs.

“Mrrrroooww.” His raspy mewls baritone their way.

Translation: FOOD FOOD FOOD! Hey…food!?

“I need to take a piss first.” I rub his back as he runs off towards his feeding area, hoping I will get the not so subtle hint.

6:25 AM: I meander downstairs to perform the morning ritual as I bow to the sink, brushing my teeth and mumbling about all the little things as I stare at myself in the mirror. Those coaching moments all we humans do in the privacy of our bathrooms. The one place where we all speak directly to ourselves and no matter what we say it sounds brilliant! Most of the best ideas come in the sanctuary of the bathroom. I smile at myself in the mirror. My reflection agreeing with every thought and exposition I can muster.

6:40 AM: Nodding I return to my room, dressing myself. Sumomo meets me, her adoptive feline brother nowhere in sight and without giving a thought I nod to her as she continues her song of delights for me to hurry and get to the wet food. I get out their plates and crack open the can, Sumomo immediately hops in her place purring feverishly, ready for the delight. As I place her plate down I notice Ryukie is nowhere to be seen. I call for him.

There is no “here kitty kitty kitty.” But a simple “Ahem,” they have become accustomed to. No answer. I pace around the house looking in all of his usual haunts and crevices his large torso likes to burrow himself in. Then I find him. Curled up in a ball on the bottom shelf of one of my bookcase.

He stares at me, panting. I reach for him, taking him into my arms as he curls in a fetal position, he mewls in pain. Staring at him, “What’s wrong?” I place him down in front of his food.

“Meeeeer–” He looks at the food, then simply limps away.

Translation: Somethings wrong.

I have to leave for work by seven. I pet Ryukie and try to figure out what is wrong. In a small span of twenty minutes he went from his normal agile self to a sick child who wanted to be left alone.

6:55 AM: Checking his food and water I make the tough decision to leave him. The clock is ticking and it is too late for me to call work. Pushing his wet food closer to him I pet his head and command Sumomo for her to keep an eye on him. She begrudgingly obeys propping herself next to him as she watches me. Then again she more than likely was eyeballing his breakfast.

7 AM: I am out the door. My mind weighing heavily on Ryukie. Domesticated animals within our society are becoming more family oriented. We, as humans, bond with them, raising our pets on a higher scale like most would do for their kin. From the smallest of creatures to the largest each human has attachments. We are built to become attached to a creature that may need us. Unlike leaving a sick child at home, there was nothing else I could do but pursue my adult obligations that lay before me. Ryukie was not in any physical pain or danger that warranted an emergency $1200 trip to the vet. Money that happened to not be in my checking account. The only thing I could do, that I had some sort of control over was texting T2 to let him know.

I’ll check on him as soon as I am off work. The response on my phone was my only hope. He would be home hours before I would arrive. Logically I knew it was something small, however my imagination stormed into something detrimental. Something worse that would loom over Ryukie.

8 AM: My shift began, the day wearing on with each transaction that I completed for each customer that wandered through my doors. My thoughts on Ryukie, unsure of his well being. The idea that something was beyond my control. Then again don’t we all wish we could control, even the smallest of incidents? Between customers I turned my focus to an Edward Abbey book of essays, The Journey Home.

3:30 PM: I was done for the day, awaiting the bus home in the heat of the sun when my cellphone vibrated.

Ryukie ate and is playing with his tail. He seems to be fine. But, I did find a massive hairball. T2 responded over text. A quizzical expression washed over me as I boarded the bus.

4:00 PM: Bursting through the door I rushed in casting my backpack aside to be greeted by the happiest cat in the world. Purrs rapidly flowing faster than the Colorado river, he nuzzles my leg.

“Mroooowww!” He happily recites through his purrs.

Translation: You are gonna feed me now, right?!

Nature of Soul: June 2017 Hike

Location: Armstrong Woods, Guerneville,CA
My mind feels at ease—

My barefeet are slated against  the fibers of the grass—

The sun dripping its rays against my flesh—

The breath of nature cool against me;

Warding off any apprehension I may have.

Magic Portal at the Rest Area: July 2017 Roadtrip

Location: 395 South of Lee Vining

“Give me a head with hair, long beautiful hair! Shining, gleaming, steaming flaxen waxen–!!”

Our voices bellowed against the heated winds as Arizona and I sang songs from the Broadway musical “Hair.” We rolled into a rest area along 395 south, having come from Travertine Hot Springs with some traffic jams along the way. It is here among the RV’s and mini vans filled to the rim with families that I begin to see the outskirts of Yosemite. Although, I will not be venturing into the National Park this trip, I feel the sensation of  peace wrapping around the trees with the breeze unyielding that leads to this unique area among the Eastern Sierras.

There are buildings with maps, snacks and latrines and areas where travellers can walk their dogs and themselves giving them a break from their weary journeys. Or a way to get away from the murderous nagging sensation their passengers bring. The sun, in the heat of the moment, beats down, scorching the parking lot as the vehicle doors swing open. The clown cars with hordes of families from suburbia made their great escape from their vehicles. They pay no attention to the epic scenery that will drape their pee breaks.

I walk across the dry land, attempting to ignore squabbling children upset that their smart devices are not holding a charge. One woman who throws her door open immediately complains about the heat as she escapes from her air conditioned haven. The temperature has risen to 98 degrees. Arizona and I do not run the ac in Lady but rather save on gas and energy. There was only one time on a trip to Vegas when Blue’s eyebrows began to melt off, the cobwebs were dusted off and cool air began to flow.

Arizona left and ventured among the tourists as I went off onto the outskirts of the rest area, stumbling upon a dirt road that led off into the distance. My back facing the black top of civilization I was taken in by the scene that followed. The snowy tops of the Sierras drinking in the sky, luring my soul into the sanctuary of nature.  “Between every two pines is a doorway to a new world.”  John Muir once stated on his trailblazing days among the Sierras. Down this path travelled I saw the power lines of humans and the fleeting motions of the pines that swept in their own green ocean. Through the magical portal a whole new world and state of mind existed and I was urged to explore more.  Where did this road lead; maybe into the belly of Yosemite? How many steps have been walked down this strange little road to somewhere? Were they as awestruck  by the beauty as I was or had the scenery become so mundane to them that it was  filtered past their senses?

We finished conducting our business at the rest area. Refilling our water bottles and cleaning out refuse from Lady. Our eyes set on the horizon of 395 as we began to bring our minds to our home away from home: Bishop California.  

The Trails Ahead: June 2017

Location: East Ridge Trail Armstrong Woods Reserve

“May your trails be crooked, winding, lonesome, dangerous, leading to the most amazing view. May your mountains rise into and above the clouds.” Edward Abbey

The path that I have walked has not been easy. Is life ever? I never had any real direction nor did I really have any specific dreams of becoming an astronaut or a teacher or a leader among people. My only desire has been merely to exist and experience as much as I can. We all only get one, so why not enjoy the little moments and the travels that may lead to the grandest adventures. With that on my mind I know someday when my time comes I will die happy. This is the trail I choose to hike.

Sunshine of the Concious Mind July 4th 2017

Location: Sonoma County California

“History, despite its wrenching pain, cannot be unlived, but if faced with courage, need not be lived again.” -Maya Angelou
It’s difficult for me to celebrate the fourth of July when this country has become at odds with one another inside politics. Yes, the birth of the United States falls on this day and we should celebrate all the freedom that rings. But, what freedom do we still have when our current government advocates for so many rights to be taken away? Land of the free? Not many have the ability to celebrate that due to recent travel bans. And, with task forces lined up to make it even difficult for some to enjoy their time here, be with their families or their job. It is not right. But, on this fourth of July, as the sunset began its descent the skies lit up over the hills. The natural burning embers cascading over the horizon and I was left in awe. And hope. Hope that there is so much we as a people can do. Remaining strong, bringing kindness forth and standing up for what is right. The glorious star is the real flag of humanity. A grand component that helps link life and thus us all.